Venus, Mars og sånt...

[boblehue]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep..

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you.. She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least the bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[MaxTron]

Den der er virkelig en av de bedre!!

[MaxTron]

Trur den her har vært her inne før, men passer vel bra i denne tråden

[Carpa]

One man to another:
"I think she is getting serious. Last night she laughed at my jokes!"

[MaxTron]

One man to another:
"I think she is getting serious. Last night she laughed at my jokes!"

Nåja, det er jo bare til de blir samboere / gift det...

[boblehue]

:-)

[Carpa]

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner...

[boblehue]

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner...

Hahaha..

[album]3793[/album]

[MaxTron]

[Bikeridr]

En kvinne gifter seg med en mann, og tror han forandrer seg. Det gjør han ikke.
En mann gifter seg med en kvinne, og tror hun ikke forandrer seg. Det gjør hun.

Hvorfor menn ikke vil gifte seg?
- Fordi såsnart han gifter seg, så klipper hun håret.

Hvilken matrett reduserer sexlivet med 90%?
- Bryllupskake

:-)

[Carpa]

At the pub:
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

[boblehue]

En mann satte inn en annonse under "personlig": "Kone ønskes". Dagen etter fikk han 167 brev, hvor teksten var entydig: "Du kan få min"..


Kona kom hjem fra dildo party og mannen spurte: Ja var det noen på min størrelse der da? ja, men de ble solgt som ørepropper!!

[MaxTron]

En kvinne gifter seg med en mann, og tror han forandrer seg. Det gjør han ikke.
En mann gifter seg med en kvinne, og tror hun ikke forandrer seg. Det gjør hun.

En liten vri på denne:

En kvinne gifter seg med en mann, og bruker 20 år på å prøve å forandre han til sånn (hun tror) hun vil ha han.
Vist hun lykkes tar hun ut skilsmisse fordi han ikke lenger er den personen hun en gang forelsket seg i...

[Carpa]

Make love, not war

Hell, do both, get married!

[boblehue]

Make love, not war

Hell, do both, get married!

Hahaha..

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

[MaxTron]

Make love, not war

Hell, do both, get married!

He-He, håper ikke det er sjølopplevd...
De fleste har vel forresten sin porsjon med negative opplevelser i samliv......

Noen som har sett filmen The War of the Roses??

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ebv3i_9Ltc[/video]

[Carpa]

Hehe, selvopplevd... litt kanskje...

Har sett War of the Roses ja, ting kan fort utvikle seg til uante dimensjoner

[Carpa]

Sikkert noen her inne som kjenner seg igjen

[JK95]

Make love, not war

Hell, do both, get married!

Start with both and late remove the love, then you got a divorce

[boblehue]

Duskregn, det er når regnet treffer asfalten så hardt at det spretter opp i dusken. :-)

[Carpa]

Sent from my Galaxy using Tapatalk 2

[MaxTron]

Takk, takk

...Men hvordan kan DU vite det..

[Bikeridr]

Samen leste i lokalavisa at en i nabolaget hadde drept kona si med en stekepanne.
Han klappet sammen avisen og utbrøt:
"Voi sattan værd'n e' blitt gal! Ka i hælvette hadde han på kjøkkne' å gjøre..?"

[boblehue]

Jens tok med sin kone på museum og ble stående og stirre på en naken kvinnefigur som bare var ikledd et fikenblad. Det var da kona sa:
"Nå, Jens, står du her og venter på høsten.

[Chevy1974]

Jens tok med sin kone på museum og ble stående og stirre på en naken kvinnefigur som bare var ikledd et fikenblad. Det var da kona sa:
"Nå, Jens, står du her og venter på høsten.

Man høster som man sår?